Hello Renee,

I'm a single father in my 40s and I'm dating a woman in her late 20s. We've known each other for a year now and we've been intimate for the last five months. We started off as friends; we used to work together, and she would go out with my kids and me. I am very attracted to her and I enjoy being with her. We go out to dinner and the movies once or twice a week and we talk every day. She loves my kids; she even baby-sits them when I have to work late.

Things seem to be going great. And since we've become more than friends, she wants a serious commitment. I think she's falling in love with me, but I am not falling in love with her. I love taking her out and having sex with her, but I am not sure if she's the one for me. But I do know that she's looking for love.

The thing is we have the best sex ever, so I don't want her to date anyone else, but I just can't commit to her. I am afraid that if I open up and love her in return, and this relationship ultimately doesn't work out, my kids and I will get hurt. How can I keep our current relationship going without losing her to someone else?

Noncommital

Dear Noncommital,

While you've decided that falling in love with her is not an option, you've overlooked the fact that in the end, she will be the one who suffers the heartache. To receive all this love and hot sex from a young woman who obviously adores you and not give anything in return is just unfair.

If you have no intention of committing to her knowing full well that that's what she wants, then you're going to have to either give up the great sex or allow yourself to take a chance on love. In a situation such as this, it is very important to be honest about what your expectations are -- she has obviously been very clear about hers.

Put yourself in her shoes and imagine how you would feel. Everyone has a fear of commitment and all relationships take time, but if you're certain that she's not for you in the long-term, then tell her the truth and let her find love with someone else. It's quite obvious that you have some old issues that may be blocking you from opening up to a committed relationship.

My solution? Take a month off to see how you really feel about her. Sometimes distance makes the heart grow fonder, and that's when you'll know for sure that she's not for you. Be honest, have integrity and let go of your fears.

Renee